Posté par ITgium le 21 décembre 2012
De François de la Chevalerie
Once, the well known psychiatrist Anxmandae de Leira, said :
- Gender-based violence both violates men’s human rights and is a serious obstacle to the achievement of freedom, development and peace.
When Ignatius, a Spanish man from a Granada noble family, met her in Shanghai in 2010 for the first time, he was in his early fifties.
He was looking for a romantic, caring, tender, faithful woman with whom he can enjoy life !
From the very first start, he admitted that Sylvie was nervous.
A personality trait that he would consider. But he didn’t.
A week after from the beginning of their relation, while he was talking calmly to her, she said abruptly : “Shut up !”
By then, Ignatius figured that he has to improve himself.
He happened to speak as gently as possible, becoming more tolerant.
One month later, being in downtown Shanghai, just when they may be headed to a resort for the weekend, Sylvie asked him to buy some sandwiches for the trip.
She has something to do at her office, so Ignatius proposes to carry out.
After wandering in the Nanjing Lu, he found a sandwich bar.
He bought two impressive sandwiches, each half meter long with a remarkable thickness full of ham, salami and vegetables.
It was the very first time in his life that he would eat such huge piece of food.
Ignatius guessed he was pretty proud of himself.
What a beautiful testimony of Love !
He felt that he has done his duty.
When he arrived at her office, Sylvie looked at him with dismay, hot-temper, hatred.
Then she raced towards him.
She took the food. Thereby she threw them all in his head with chilling violence.
The sauce splashes on his cheeks, the ground strewn with vegetables, the walls covered with salami.
Then, she screamed in anger hitting him several times his face, crushing also his fingers.
At that time, she looks somewhat all wrecked.
Ignatius was standing there, the mouth open, with no reaction.
Then Sylvie left the room to return there after ten minutes.
Meanwhile, he remained completely paralyzed with fear, groggy and shocked.
What happened after is almost incomprehensible !
When she returned, Ignatius took Sylvie warmly in his arms and he kissed her with joy.
It was probably the best kiss they ever shared.
After depositing another kiss on her forehead, Ignatius concluded :
- I love everything about you, as your beauty as your character.
The Stockholm syndrome, or capture-bonding, is a psychological phenomenon in which hostages express empathy, sympathy and have positive feelings towards their captors, sometimes to the point of defending them.
These feelings are generally considered irrational in light of the danger or risk endured by the victims, who essentially mistake a lack of abuse from their captors for an act of kindness.
Stockholm syndrome can be seen as a form of traumatic bonding, which does not necessarily require a hostage scenario, but which describes « strong emotional ties that develop between two persons where one person intermittently harasses, beats, threatens, abuses, or intimidates the other. »
One commonly used hypothesis to explain the effect of Stockholm Syndrome is based on Freudian theory.
It suggests that the bonding is the individual’s response to trauma in becoming a victim. Identifying with the aggressor is one way that the ego defends itself.
When a victim believes the same values as the aggressor, they no longer become a threat.
Battered-person syndrome is an example of activating the capture-bonding psychological mechanism, as are military basic training and fraternity bonding by hazing.