Posté par ITgium le 30 avril 2009
A Jùn mǎ tale 俊 马 (François de la Chevalerie)
Ying Zao is born with a golden key around her mouth, a warm, an encouraging and broad smile.
Ying is a kind heart like a fountain of gladness, making everything in its vicinity freshens into smiles.
Originally from Chongqing where she landed on earth, she grew up in Zhengzhou (郑州), capital and largest city of Henan province.
As the peoples from there, she speaks fluently the Zhōngyuán guānhuà, a local dialect of Mandarin Chinese.
I remember that the first Peking opera (Jīngjù) I ever saw was written in this archaic dialect. I didn’t understand even a word.
Traditional and conservative, Ying’s family belongs to the urban middle class strongly supported by the outstanding growth of the Chinese economy since the eighties.
Her mom was a doctor at the Zhengzhou general hospital, her Dad a relevant member of the People’s Liberation Army (Zhōngguó Rénmín Jiěfàng Jūn).
Ying has two older bothers.
During her youth, she has established closer relationship with the younger one. In the Ying view, he has a protective role to combat the somewhat strange behavior of her father whose oval face consisted of hardness and a cold look.
She was constantly frightened by him.
- What I have done ? She said so many times. He glanced up at me, almost without lifting his head ! She added.
- Remember, you just born as a girl. You will never share a man’s destiny.
When she asked him a question, he wasn’t responding ever.
During her childhood, all night long, she was thinking how to rehabilitate her relation with him.
- I am dreaming to receive a smile from him. How great my happiness would be then, could not be grasped and I could not express it in any words ! She wrote in her diary
Motionless, with a snow-white face, her smile ever greater, she saw into that awe-inspiring universe, from where a ray of light shone upon him.
« The smile that is worth the praises of earth is the smile that shines through tears » stated the American writer Washington Irving.
But the miracle never happened.
In her early years, Ying had suffered deeply from her father strange behavior.
By then, the little girl spent her days crying, and crying.
Every night, all day, tears ran down his cheeks.
“Those who do not weep, do not see.” Victor Hugo from the Miserables.
Sometimes her Brother granted her a help.
- Rejoice, so highly favoured ! Life is so precious and it goes by way too fast. Don’t miss your chance ! He said.
At the age of twenty years old, Ying met an educated and handsome young man from her adopted city.
Even he was an inexperienced boy, he was brave and sincere in his desire to love.
The young couple discovers whether they can adapt themselves to each other.
They have done everything according to the Chinese traditional rules, respecting the ancestral conservative values.
Their parents meet many times at the occasion of copious banquets.
By the end, the weeding date was decided in a very authoritarian manner by her father, scheduled the 4 of august 1994, the birthday of dèng xiǎopíng.
- Why ? she asked to her father with an anguished voice.
While he never answered before to her questions, this time, through his deep voice, he said:
- It is time we paid our respects to the old man !
Ying didn’t sleep the following night, crying and crying once again.
- What I am ? A toy of the chinese history ! she questioned herself in her diary.
Two days before the wedding celebration, surprisingly, Ying Zao went away silently by the back door, a little bundle over to her shoulder.
She took the first train to Guangzhou the promised land like so many of her Henan fellows, dreaming of a better life.
- I wanted my share of freedom. My intention was to breathe the air of liberty all over the world. She wrote in her diary
In the next years, she traveled among the souls of four gentlemen from distant countries : North America, Australia, Uruguay and Europe.
She shared the life of an internationally recognized sculptor from Los Angeles, a Sydney merchant, a Latino exporter manager and a Dutch urban planning.
- I prayed in a synagogue, in a church, always holding their hand and muttering : I’m yours, my man !
The smile girl took good care of each one, instilling the spirit of china.
- I gave them the key to understand the Chinese in-depth mind. My gift, my only gift was really this one ! Would you to become part of a five thousand civilization ? I asked them. For me, it was a sacred mission, my national duty ! I will say, My dad commitment ! None of us has replied. They remained abusively silent, quite embarrassed… like, my Dad, my Dad…
Then, Ying started sniffling, crying.
Once again, she went away, taking the first flight, returning back to Guangzhou, the promised land.
During those years, she wept frequently and felt hopeless about the future.
One day, she called her beloved brother.
She reported her rather disillusioned feelings about love.
As she asked to her father a long time ago.
- What I have done to support this ?
Hearing her deep sorrow, her brother said :
- Forget the old days ! Our Dad lost his mind ! That’s the life cycle ! Now, it is time to rebuild yourself ! Remember this Victor Hugo quote : « Jesus wept; Voltaire smiled. From that divine tear and from that human smile is derived the grace of present civilization. »
Two days after, she read a book from the Portuguese writer, Anxmandae de Leira, the religion of the stars.
“ The today Chinese troublesome civilization could rebirth through the innocent eyes of a mixed-up métis baby who will embody the future, the tomorrow chinese pride. “
This very day urges to Ying a deep desire to give birth to a child of her own.
Then, once upon a time, a little girl was born with a smiling face as her mother one, the Ying Zao same blood, same spirit, the Ying Zao longtime dream, forever.
- My little girl smile so much. So easily ! Remember ! Everyone looks so much better when they smile ! Ying concluded.